here's a link for the trailer connector;
Trailer Wiring Diagram For 4 way, 6 way and 7 way circuits
I think what you mean by "relay" you mean a circuit breaker. I would put it anywhere before the truck side of the connector. Your truck may have no power to the plug until the key is on.
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1994 F-350 7.3 IDI Turbo, crew cab, E4OD, LB, Dually, 
ATS Turbo upgrades: 3" DP with 3" exhaust Magnaflow XL muffler: Pictures Here
1997 Jayco fifth wheel 323 RKS, Robins 16K dual axis hitch
Apillar pod with: Autometer C2 Series gauges: pyro,trans, boost 
Hypermax Cowl induction, Flex-A-Lite 26K tranny cooler w/fan
K&N air filter (we'll see in a million miles) 
Tekonsha "prodigy" brake control
Train Horns: Pictures here
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