Old Dog needs to learn new tricks advice needed

Hello, I'm a proverbial FNG . I'm new to diesel rigs, I just bought a 2002 Ford Excursion with a 7.3 in it, that's a bone stock one owner 192K mile truck. Now the fun begins. And I need advice, ideas, parts etc. I picked Bird Dog for my handle, as Im an aircraft mechanic by trade, and an old dog out to learn new tricks. I'm developing a love affair with this rig, and want to improve it. I want to modify it for more fuel economy and more power without hurting the trans, if this is possible. I've started reading forums and such, and get lost trying to absorb the wealth of knowledge that's out there.

So far it seems making it breathe better and exhaust better are the best starting points. I've read that a factory severe duty air intake system and a four inch turbo back exhaust system is a good way to go. My rig will be hauling family more than trailers most the time, so MPG, less noise, and a strong but not harsh suspension would be helpful. I cant go the lifted route, or at least not much, due to spine damage, hard to step up for me.

Ive read that flashing my confuser is better than chipping it. Im unsure what I can gain either way.

SO far Ive ordered new shocks., they get here Friday.
I need to change my front sway bar links and my front bump stops (one is missing on the front, and the rears are mismatched). Should I stay with the originals (mine is an early 2002 production) or go with the newer 2003 tyoe
What do you recommend for a rear sway bar system, my 2002 wasn't born with one. but body roll/lean is a current problem.

Any ideas suggestions etc. would be appreciated